The Bright Side of Dissapointment

7 Palm Tree Photo

First of all, THANK YOU to everyone that watched my scholarship application video to B-School, liked it, and took time to give such amazing comments and feedback.  I truly felt your love, support, and encouragement.

 

Unfortunately, I did not make the cut (and that really is UN-fortunate as the program costs big money!).  That being said, I am doing the program anyway because I feel it is an extraordinarily wise investment for me on many levels.  Receiving the news that I didn’t get the scholarship came as a blow though, and inspired a wellness article on dealing with disappointment in a healthy and self-loving way.

 

First step I took was to acknowledge that it sucked to not get what I wanted.  I saw the email come in announcing the winners, and even though my heart was pounding in anticipation, I had the feeling the news was not in my favor.  When that was confirmed, I was sad.  So I let myself be sad for minute.  Damn!  I really thought I had a chance.

 

I believe allowing yourself to be real with how you’re feeling is so important.  Too often, I have pushed hurt feelings aside or deep down low, and they end up manifesting as stress, frustration, anger, or some form of physical discomfort.  However, when I acknowledge the true feeling, it passes quickly.  It’s as though recognizing its presence gives it permission to leave.  Otherwise, it just keeps knocking at your door in strange and aggravating ways until you pay attention.

 

Rather than over-staying my welcome at my own pity party, I quickly flipped to the bright side by examining the benefits of the experience.  There was so much positive to be gained from the process of making the video, it would be difficult to ignore.  Here are my musings:

 

1)    I took a big risk and did something that made me nervous and uncomfortable by putting myself on camera.  This is an area I want to grow in and I took hold of this opportunity to challenge myself to do so, even though it was totally out of my comfort zone.  That is awesome.

 

2)    I had 90 seconds to talk about what I do and why I do it.  This forced me to boil it down to the essence, and that is always a good thing.  It’s easy to get wrapped up in the stress of running a business, but when you bring it back to the WHY, you feel nothing but joy and gratitude for being able to bring to the world what you love most, in my case, the wellness and bliss that comes with practicing yoga.  Such a blessing!

 

3)    I got to collaborate with knowledgeable people and learn something new.  That awesome editing was not my doing, but that of my dear friend G and her friend Taylar, who are both geniuses with iMovie.  Watching them in action helped me learn some new tricks, so now I feel more empowered to put together my own cool videos.  Hurray!

 

4)    I experienced the joy of asking for help and rallying support around me.  This can be a hard thing to do.  For me, this is hard.  But I made the request, I put it out there, and so many of you came through for me in a big way.  I also got to read some of the ways that I have impacted your lives, which was heart warming and so reinforcing.  Thank you for your generosity.  Again, I am so blessed.

 

5)    This is not going to be a free ride for me, which means, that is added incentive to get the absolute most I can out of the experience.  I am thrilled to dive deep into this program.

 

6)    Last but not least, my video helped to inspire a fellow yogi and friend to do the same program!  So now I have a local partner to experience this with and with whom to share support, encouragement, and enthusiasm for the growth of our dream businesses.  Super cool!

 

After all that positive reflection, is there even a downside?  Hardly. When you don’t get something you wanted, don’t get stuck on the downside my friends.  Acknowledge your feelings, take what you learned in your gracious heart, then rise above to fearlessly face the next golden challenge that fuels your growth. 

 

I am dying to know, how do you deal with disappointment?  Can you give a specific example of when this occurred and what you were able to take from it?  I so love these conversations.

 

Yours in brightness,

Sasha

12 Comments

  1. mollyhagan February 26, 2013 at 9:55 pm #

    Great sharing of your process. For me, it depends how big the disappointment. When my agent of 15 years dropped me, I actually fell to my knees and wept. I gave myself a day to wallow and then I hit the ground running. I did more for my career in 3 days than I had in 3 years. I find taking action is what helps me. Even if that particular ship has sailed, I try and do something that makes me feel in control again. Even if its cleaning my house. But I have to give myself some time to feel like crap and generally that involves watching TV;)

    • Sasha Stone February 28, 2013 at 9:32 am #

      Yes Molly, I agree, taking action is key. And cleaning my house is very therapeutic for me! A clean space gives me a clear mind to determine the next logical step. Thank you for sharing.

  2. (that's me) in the corner...de February 27, 2013 at 6:57 am #

    Good morning Darling!
    I so look forward to your Wednesdays. I am truly sorry you did not make the cut, but so proud of you for plowing forward and figuring out how to do it anyway. You are such an inspiration Sash. As far as how I deal with disappointment, it depends on the disappointment. If something feels like an ego blow to the gut, it is much harder than something that does not feel so personal. When I feel that I am being dismissed, it is a hard one to pull my head out into the sunshine again. But generally, every time I have that experience, I feel like the universe is saving my ass from some unfortunate fate that I just cannot see. Often in hindsight, it will be a sense of “thank god, I did not get my way on that one, or look where I might be now!” It is always a process. Thank you for sharing your story. love you girl.

    • Sasha Stone February 28, 2013 at 9:35 am #

      Yes! So true. These “set-backs” are always a gift in some way, as long as we choose to see it that way and take something from it. Just like there is a reason why some things come more easily, there is a reason why others are blocked. I love you too!

  3. Marian Stone February 27, 2013 at 7:00 am #

    Sash this is so beautifully written, thank you for your honesty and how you dealt with your disappointment, I have had some disappointments in my life, but fell victim to sadness for a long time, but I have grown so much since then and now with God’s help and beautiful people around me it makes it much easier, I love Wellness Wednesday’s!

    • Sasha Stone February 28, 2013 at 9:44 am #

      Mom, thank you for your sincere share, it is much appreciated. It is wonderful to see how your ability to deal with disappointment has transformed! You’ve been through a lot of hardships and now you are able to grow from these experiences. That’s a beautiful thing. Love you.

  4. (that's me) in the corner... February 27, 2013 at 7:07 am #

    Good morning Beauty! First of all, sorry about not making the cut, but congrats on forging ahead and figuring out how to do the program anyway. You are such an inspiration to me in your focus and drive. I am so lazy…
    As far as how I react to disappointment, I must agree with Molly, it depends on the disappointment. When it is something that feels very personal, like me myself is being dismissed, that is a hard one to take. Most often it will feel (in hindsight) that the universe has helped me dodge a bullet, but I had no idea. Or that there was something way better, more suitable, more exciting, more fulfilling, more challenging, waiting in the wings. It is always gratifying to look back on some situation later and think, “Dear God! Thank you that I did not get my way on that one!”
    have a beautiful day and love you muchly.

  5. Patty February 27, 2013 at 9:49 am #

    My biggest disappointment was achieving the career I had worked so hard for and discovering that I was miserable doing it. But this turn of events changed my entire life for the better. I was required to cultivate a more authentic, balanced way of living and to nurture my creativity from the inside out, instead of always looking to others to validate it. This was also the beginning of my spiritual path; the sense that “there must be more to life than this” led me to meditation, yoga and — at the risk of sounding grandiose — awakening. It’s an ongoing process, of course, but it all started with that heart-crushing disappointment that I am now so grateful for.

    • Sasha Stone February 28, 2013 at 9:46 am #

      Patty, this is huge and such a beautiful share. I think a lot of people go down this road, and think because they are achieving career success, they should be happy and satisfied, even if a different path is tugging at their heart strings. Congratulations to you for being so fearlessly honest with yourself! It shows in how you operate in the world. You have that “awakened” light.

  6. storyroll February 27, 2013 at 4:52 pm #

    Ah. Disappointment. I’m in the same boat as other commenters: my level of disappointment is relative to what I was after. The bigger the goal or want, the harder I fall into disappointment. I don’t know if I have a magic bullet way of dealing with disappointment, but I have learned from experience that disappointment is temporary so long as I keep on moving in the direction of the life that is meaningful to me. I dot really “do” anything about disappointment so much as I keep going in spite of it. It’s harder for some things than others, especially (and as another commenter pointed out) if its a disappointment in an area that I feel goes right to the core of who I am. But I’ve learned that, for me, it’s the only way to deal with it. I also pray in those moments. Not necessarily to get what I want, but it helps connect me to myself in an intimate, protective way. I feel protected in prayer and in those moments of quiet, sometimes hurting, reflection.

    • Sasha Stone February 28, 2013 at 9:47 am #

      Yes Sharon, so true, prayer is an important way to deal with, process, and move through disappointment. For me, it’s a reminder that I am supported and never alone. Love you!

  7. storyroll February 27, 2013 at 4:53 pm #

    Ah. Disappointment. I’m in the same boat as other commenters: my level of disappointment is relative to what I was after. The bigger the goal or want, the harder I fall into disappointment. I don’t know if I have a magic bullet way of dealing with disappointment, but I have learned from experience that disappointment is temporary so long as I keep on moving in the direction of the life that is meaningful to me. I dot really “do” anything about disappointment so much as I keep going in spite of it. It’s harder for some things than others, especially (and as another commenter pointed out) if its a disappointment in an area that I feel goes right to the core of who I am. But I’ve learned that, for me, it’s the only way to deal with it. I also pray in those moments. Not necessarily to get what I want, but it helps connect me to myself in an intimate, protective way. I feel protected in prayer and in those moments of quiet, sometimes hurting, reflection.

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